Life is not simple

Well duh!

I think everyone already figured that out. It's complicated with a lot of random crap, lengthy backstories, unnecessary drama, and meaningless work.

Life is like a K-Drama but bad.... oh wait... isn't all of them bad? Nope nevermind. Boys Over Flowers is a great show. If my life was like that show... then dang my hairstyle looks like a croissant, and I need better lighting.

I'm digressing. I swear this happens in about every post... Life is complicated. A lot of things happen and we turn to what we trust or love to find answers. Whether it's in scriptural text, parental advice, friendly moral support, or even Taylor Swift's lyrics (which is stupid by the way... trusting song lyrics has the same gravitas as a fortune cookie from Panda Express), we look to these words and phrases and it'll help us. Is that enough though?

And once we get the answer isn't it over?

No! Of course not. As smart as I am, I am still a dingus (aren't we all?). And we forget, we're stupid, and sometimes we make mistakes even when we know those actions are a mistake. This is why we keep looking for advice, why we constantly try to better ourselves. Because the answer to life is not simple. It's not just to be brave, or to be strong, or to kill yourself. It's always something more, something valiant, something enduring, and takes more than a lifetime.

You see it's hard to find answers to the big questions in life. I mean of course the question, "what is the meaning of life?" is a big question, but that's because it has a big answer. The answer is anything and everything that matters to you. It's not about what you need or what you want or what you deserve, but what you believe in. This is why I'm telling to look harder than than those random quotes, or friendly advice, or Taylor Swift's songs.... Because those things are not you. Maybe a part of you but not everything else. You, like all of us, are hugely complicated and amazing with a multifaceted identity. Sometimes it's just hard to grasp it all.

We make mistakes over and over again, but the things we truly love and believe in will always be there, will always be repeated in our minds, to remind ourselves that this is what I'm looking for. That this is what I believe is true. That this is me.