10 minutes ago I thought I finally convinced myself that I ran out of things to write about. I guess not.
Social media. You've heard of it. You've probably participated in it too. Using Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Tumblr, or even MySpace. It's normal! It's natural for people at this time to use these sites. But the more I spread out and find people of differing or just stranger beliefs, I've found that a few of my friends don't subscribe to this movement at all. At first I thought it was only one, but when I actually started counting I found 1,2,3,4 – a decent few who aren't into the whole techno get-together. I sound really old. To be honest I only started counting because one of my friends deleted her Snapchat. So I became curious. Why did she do this?
I started scrolling through my Facebook feed. Looking around. And it all looked the same. Exactly like the last time I looked through my Facebook feed. So I kept looking around...
What I found was that something so obvious I already found it in the past. It looked exactly the same. Not just the posts I'm seeing, I mean every post (old or new) looked the same. A distant cousin posting about family that looks a bit too happy, an old guy from church spouting obscure political rants, and friends posting about where they went in their last vacation; like Greece, Indonesia, or Madagascar. Do you know what this means?
It's not even real. The family pictures. They're not happy all the time, ask around. They were probably arguing right before that picture and was arguing about some crab cakes right after. The old people rants, let's be real we all ignore them unless it aligns with what we believe in. Because isn't that all we know? Our beliefs and our perception of other people's beliefs. And my friend's vacations... That just makes me angry. I should feel happy for them but I'm not. I'm partly jealous that I'm not there, and I feel bad about myself for not being there or for not looking as good.
No wonder some of my friends left social media. It stopped feeling real. But then again... talking about real life isn't that much interesting either. Posting about my crippling debt, or family dynamic will definitely feel real! But it won't get me those clicks, those likes. That mini-vibration that's sure to boost my self-esteem.
"Hey guys! my last photo from (insert vacation) that I posted in (insert trendy new app) got (insert large number) likes/hearts/stamps of approval." Posting about superficial smiles isn't going to help you feel something again. If it did, I'd post more on Facebook. But I see the appeal... if you're stuck at a dead end job feeling bored, it's natural to trade in a boring life for an empty storyline. Is this the right fix?
No. I'm not gonna make unnecessary drama. I'm not going to distance myself anymore than I already have. I don't feel close to anyone. It's like my closest relationship isn't even to my mom or dad, only to my phone. I'll talk to them.
Don't you ever just wanna talk to your Dad? Why do I need 14 accounts to talk to my Dad. I'll just yell his name.
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