The Longer Ones

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Ch 6 Gratefully Derailed

My plan is well, I'm depending a lot on God for once. I'm reading more and finally doing what I need to do and I feel great. I just wish time would fly faster. I just wanna skip to the good part of coming back... or at least going to school... But I'm not ready for that yet.

I'm weak. Filled with imperfections but for once I'm admitting to it. I know what He wants for me, and I'm starting to know what I want for myself. And it's helping me feel something again...

A lot of times in the mission field or in life in general, I find people addicted to whatever because it helps them feel something or run away from feeling something... but for once... I'm feeling it (the Spirit, God's grace?) again. Like I'm younger, cleaner, and getting better.

A few days ago one of my friends asked me if I was happy, and you know what? my life is derailed. I really have a chicken scratch of a plan, but I'm grateful. I needed that to come back to the right plan. To the one that'll bring happiness to everyone. To the plan that'll bring us all closer together. To the plan that brings eternal peace.

"So are you happy?"

I'm not sure yet, but for once I think I'm actually getting there. 

Monday, September 4, 2017

CH 5 Home Again?

Elder Villanueva.
Whelp guess I gotta get used to that again. I'm not sure what to do now. I applied for some jobs, I'm still reading my scriptures, still memorizing what I need to memorize and remembering what I've done. But wow it's really hitting me. Life is hitting me.

"So how are you feeling?"

Well it's mixed I suppose. Happy that I've confessed and feel better on that inside, but also guilty I'm not in the field. There are so many other things I could be doing right now... proselyting, learning the language, going back to school... but I can't do any of that right now. For the first time (since maybe 7th grade?), everything is slowing down and it's making me feel guilty. I thought it would only slow down in the mission field but even here. Even when I've been released, it's still slow. Until I get back on my feet, it'll be a bit slow... and it's my fault. But with every day that passes I do

"So what's your daily routine?"

Well my new best friend is a broom. Just cleaning some things. Reading books. Watching some TV but not too much (like 2 hrs max). Sleeping. Praying for a job. Playing with a dog. Normal stuff I suppose.

"What're your plans now?"

Whelp currently none at all... Just kidding. I'm preparing and hoping to come back. But for now, let's get a job, let's keep on reading, let's help the fam bam, and let's get to work. I may be home, but I'm still ambitious as ever!