The Longer Ones

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Ch 11 Everything's gonna be okay

"I'm different."
"How?"
"I'm acting more like myself!"

I don't mean myself before the mission, but the version of me I'm comfortable with. How can I explain this... let's start with a story.

In 2015-2016 I applied for a few colleges: UofM, BYU, UCLA, Dartmouth, Fordham, UC Berkeley, UChicago, etc. And when I applied I wrote one essay that fit in most of the prompts. This is the essay that helped me gain acceptance to my future and when the time finally came to writing that paper, I decided to take a slightly different route. Instead of talking about achievements or passions or families, I decided to talk about a mask.

What do you think of when you think of masks?

People being fake? a masquerade? hidden agendas? something not real? If so, you're probably right!
I talked about wearing a mask to fit in. To find friends, to get things, and to get connections. For personal gain, for selfish purposes and for selfless purposes. I talked about being used or using others and I talked about how I was a mask.

Just do what they tell you.
Just follow what they do.
Buy what they buy.
Talk about this.
Listen to this instead.
Only hang out with them.
Date her.... And everything's gonna be okay.

And that's what I did... in the hopes that everything's gonna be okay. The colleges asked me to talk about myself, but when the time came, I wasn't exactly sure who that was.

I'm still trying to find out.

But since my arrival here and my time to think I believe that for once... it's not an empty promise.
That everything's gonna be okay.

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