The Longer Ones

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

I'm an adult

 I thought I was ready. I really thought I did, but I didn't expect things to be this hard.

I feel like everyone around me is in tune with some innate truth that makes them comfortable. I feel like they're all mature and ready to take on the world and I'm still me. When I was little I used to think people are like Pokemon. 

After gaining some experience, they go through hard events and battles and adventures and come out evolving into (hopefully) better versions of themselves. And all around me I feel like that's true with everyone else. So why does it feel like it's not happening with me?

Who suddenly taught everyone about taxes, and credit cards, and sanitizing wooden spoons. Or manners in speaking, learning how to listen and not speak, and finding just the right words. How did everyone else get there?

Was it because of a mission? was it because of a degree? maybe because they're not scared of debt and mortgages? was it when they got married? when they got kids? How did they get there? 




God when will I get there? 

I just hope I don't die before I get there. Maybe I'm not there because I didn't work hard enough. Or maybe it's because I'm scared about my feelings. Or maybe I'm just not worthy of it? I guess I have a lot more to learn.