Vegas

This is actually somewhat insane. In the next week, I will have the opportunity to watch a basketball game, base jump off of the 112th floor, and zipline from one skyscraper to another... IN LAS VEGAS.

You know how some people might get hitched or gamble or do random things that they will forever hide in Vegas?

Well now it's my turn! Mormon edition...

That means we'll get hitched as a polygamy. Nah I'm just kidding.

It's going to be a very sober tame experience... with some adrenaline pumping fun times. I am fairly excited and scared but you know what? this is what I want to do, I'll as safe as I can be, and I'm going to have a blast.

Wish me luck!

My couch

Let's talk about a really cool couch.

It's been four months since I redecorated my room. Now of course most people don't really care, especially because it's a dorm (that I rent) and I'm sharing it with another dude. But since he doesn't really care about how I decorate or redecorate this room, I have full creative power to change everything.

And lemme tell you... it looks pretty sick.

I got the idea from an old friend (who moved out of our hall) to move some of the couches. BACKGROUND. Each hall has a designated room for you with furniture already inside. However! in the basement and in the lobby there are multiple extra couches there. Now most would assume that we are not allowed to move furniture from the lobby... up to our rooms for additional comfort. But when I read and reread my housing contract it says nothing about moving furniture to my room (it does say that any damages will be charged to me though....). I'll be extra careful of course! and I already moved it into my room and it is heavenly.

This chair... oh this magnificent chair is the best thing going in my life right now. It's nice, extremely comfy, perfect place to study and type this post, and it's next to my toaster for a nice midnight snack (toasters are contraband by the way... so shhhhh).

This is probably the fun-est thing I've ever done in college haha.

It's getting harder

You know sometimes it just gets harder and harder to write about random things.

I realize I do this to calm myself down or to have peace but there are times when I flat out won't want to. One of my professors told me earlier today that it's not meant to be easy. It's supposed to be hard and often you won't even know what to say because you don't have anything too significant to really talk about.

Well you know what? Today I do have something to talk about! Not anything too dramatic of course... those stories are for phone calls or personal letters... no. Today I'm going to talk about a couch and a trip.

I'm free?

It's kinda strange looking back at what you've already done. At times it doesn't even seem like I'm looking at myself. Like I keep on changing or evolving until I'm someone completely different. I just hope I don't turn into someone I hate.

A few weeks ago I met a person who reminded me of it all. Every sacrifice I let go. Everything I once loved. Every little thing I lost to become me. I looked into her azure eyes and I saw it all.

It was hopeful and sad. She seemed foolish and naive, and it reminded me of me. She gave me her time and I fell. We walked and talked and every conversation reminded me of a small boy finding his home. She was kind to me.

I'm not sure how to describe it but she contained a selfless desire to care and know others. She looks at every person with the confident, almost blindly optimistic view that they are amazing.

And I let her go.

We eventually walked in front of a waterfall and I had to tell her what was bothering my mind. I needed to go. It wasn't right for me to remember the things I let go. That for me to progress, I had to learn from my past, and keep moving forward.

She still talks to me at times, but never with that intense optimism. Now whenever I see her I'm reminded that this is the cost of being free.

Happy birthday to me

Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday dear Asian Narwhal.
Happy birthday to me.

Oh yes! The big ole 1 9. It's a great celebration. Journaling... Writing essays... Going to church. Good stuff. Am I doing anything special today? nothing in particular I suppose. I'm eating some food with a few of my cousins. Umm other than that it's an okay day.

When I was little, I remember birthdays being the best they can ever be. I would look forward to it, at least six months prior and find the legos or an Apple product wrapped with the shiniest paper I've ever seen. They were fun to unwrap and awesome to play with, but soon after I'll only look at it once and a while until it fades in worthless insignificance.

Today is different. I'm old. Well not that old but older. It's a really good day. Unlike those presents that gave me momentary joy, I have found people I know, care, and love. I wouldn't trade that for anything else. They will never fade like those devices. They'll be here, whether I'm halfway across the world or outside your door, they'll be there ready to say hi and give you the biggest hug. Today may not be the most grandeur birthday but I have friends who took the time to call me or talk to me and made me feel special. That's all I could ever ask for.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen.

Look at the stars...

"I have to cover you up, you might get a burn."
"It's 3 am... and it's cloudy!"
"Exactly my point. You might get a cloud burn."

That was probably the weirdest excuse I've ever said to hug someone. It was a good hug; nice, firm, and it accompanied a long talk.

It wasn't bad or weird, simply fun. So many arguments, stress, and worthless conversations happen consistently on a daily basis, I almost forgot what a real conversation was. She just talked to me. Just talked. I missed that. Too often people will talk the life out of you using some dreadful emotions or memories that ought to die, that I forget how much fun it can be to be real.

Soon after she brought out a side of me I haven't seen. A kid. I was a kid. Even though it was 3 am or 4 am or whatever time it was, she made me feel like I was a kid again. It was so comfy, I haven't felt like this in a while and I really cherish it.

We even ran, played with sticks, had a tickle fight, and she taught me how to do a ninja roll. I guess you could say I had a fairly eventful night.

After our spontaneous picnic I came home. I put away my sticks, opened the window, and looked up.
"...look how they shine for you."

I hate posting this.

Political topics are my game. But talking about it always bring contention, therefore I don't. Until one topic.

Immigration.

For the first time in a while I'm pretty sure I just saw my religion go against a fairly conservative belief. Of course most religions stay out of official politics, and they do that's why they didn't denounce the president... only his actions.

Should we protect refugees? Should we protect or help immigrants? Should we do our best to lessen the pains in the world?

Yeah. We should. Personally, religiously, every other topic-ly. Maybe it was my brownness that gave it away but I am an immigrant. I'm a citizen now but sometimes it still doesn't feel that way. When I came here to America one of the greatest experiences that I first had was with my local church. They were kind. I remember sitting there in Valiant 9 (Sunday school) and almost immediately the guy sitting in front of me turned around, gave me the world's biggest Disney smile and said, "Hi, my name is Tanner, how are you?"

I didn't know how to respond, but with whatever broken english I had I said, "Hello, I'm an Asian Narwhal. Good I think." He was my first real friend here. I loved that about America, they were accepting and kind and cared about us.

So what changed?

A guy in my religion class told me it's because he's afraid, but why? Whenever they hear immigrants or refugees they hear criminals or rapists but that's simply not true. They're running away from a home that wants to hurt them. They're distraught mothers, they're confused fathers who don't know how to protect their children anymore. But most of all... they're children lost and filled with sadness because no one seems to want to take them in. Why are we afraid of them? Why can't we take the time to understand them like Tanner did to me?

We're Americans. If we share the same religion then we're Mormons. We survived persecution. We're the pioneers who crossed the free world. We're the country to walk on the moon and set sail to the stars with our technology. We inspire other countries to be more like us... and yet somehow we're afraid of them. Is it because we don't understand them? We're willing to spend years and years learning about accounting or engineering and we're unwilling to learn about one more person? Is that the case? Because if that's true then why are we closing our doors on them? If our fears are because of our ignorance then it should be our duty to learn to stand in their shoes and find out.

Others say they're afraid because they might kill them and to that I have a few things to say. You are more likely to be struck by lightning twice in a row in the US than be killed by a terrorist. Secondly we're Americans. When has fear ever stopped us? We know it's hard, we know it will hurt but we did it anyway for our beliefs, in faith, that we will persevere and keep on going. Of course there's risk, but isn't everything else worthwhile?

I don't want to say it's easy because it's not. We are asked to must open our doors to them for the better welfare of our society, and some say that's weakness. But if it'll save a life. If it can bring that same joy that Tanner gave me... then that's a weakness that I'd proudly carry.
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Tomorrow I'm going to protest in the State Capitol for refugees. To those reading this, I don't need you to agree with me but I need you to understand why people do this. I need you to understand immigrants because we're in this country together, we need to stop fighting and shutting people out and learn to understand. Though it's a heated argument, we need to face this together.

If you want to help in other ways, contact local representatives and senators of your state, write an amicus curiae briefs to the courts, call Trump towers, ask your God for help and pray.