It's kinda strange looking back at what you've already done. At times it doesn't even seem like I'm looking at myself. Like I keep on changing or evolving until I'm someone completely different. I just hope I don't turn into someone I hate.
A few weeks ago I met a person who reminded me of it all. Every sacrifice I let go. Everything I once loved. Every little thing I lost to become me. I looked into her azure eyes and I saw it all.
It was hopeful and sad. She seemed foolish and naive, and it reminded me of me. She gave me her time and I fell. We walked and talked and every conversation reminded me of a small boy finding his home. She was kind to me.
I'm not sure how to describe it but she contained a selfless desire to care and know others. She looks at every person with the confident, almost blindly optimistic view that they are amazing.
And I let her go.
We eventually walked in front of a waterfall and I had to tell her what was bothering my mind. I needed to go. It wasn't right for me to remember the things I let go. That for me to progress, I had to learn from my past, and keep moving forward.
She still talks to me at times, but never with that intense optimism. Now whenever I see her I'm reminded that this is the cost of being free.