I think right now I'm just tired.
Not physically (though I have been awake for a long while now), but rather mentally or emotionally. It hurts to think about sometimes but right now I'm truly excited for rest.
Unlike high school, there is no Christmas homework or anything like that. For once when someone mentions "winter break," it truly is a break.
There's nothing to study for or to stress about only me. And as peaceful as that may be it's also frightening to imagine. Mental rest would be great for development or growth probably but mental stimulation is my defense from the absurd.
As much as I disliked stress, it is this same environment that has allowed me to grow and become who I am (a nerd). Without that stress, I am lacking meaning. I need to continually learn, and though this rest is much appreciated I hope and pray I'll find something to do rather than let myself lie idle with the world around me.
I guess in the end, it's a good kind of tired. It's worth it.
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