The Longer Ones

Sunday, September 4, 2016


So far life is good. Just walking home at midnight, talking to friends when I realized I left my keys in my friend's lobby. Immediately I texted her so I can quickly run and pick it up but then I saw them... All of them.

Ants just everywhere.

I should probably give you some context. In my time in college, one thing I noticed was ants. They swarm. I'm not kidding. There's times when they swarm on the pavement in a giant circle with a diameter of about 3 feet and it's huge. They probably only do it once a day in a random spot in the pavement but when they do there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing at all. They just chill there like they own the school. Well... they have lived here longer than I have, they outnumber all of us, and they're everywhere, so I suppose they do own the school in that sense. 

Luckily, though I did not see them at first, a man named Mark stopped me from walking on this ant pile. Apparently he and his group of friends have been carefully observing them for the past hour to see how big the pile can get. First off let me digress, is there a word for a pile of ants? swarm? pack? fellowship?

"If they are winged, they are a swarm. If they are marching on the ground, they are an army. Otherwise they are a COLONY or nest, since any large group of ants in one place are likely all sisters from the same COLONY." Good to know. Thank you National Geographic documentary on ants.

Anyway back on topic, Mark and his friends have been observing them for the past hour and we decided to conduct an experiment. How fast can this COLONY of ants consume a bag of Cheetos? It took probably 25 minutes to half an hour but they did it. I guess they were hungry. A moment passed then we saw a fat slug.

This was a very sexy slug. Very plump, moist, sticky, and it looks like it was in a hurry. That's ironic; a rushing slug? I named him Paul. Anyway this slug, Paul, is about to squirm into the pile of ants when the weirdest thing happened. The ants moved out of the way. Like Moses parting the Red Sea, like the creation of the Panama Canal, by some slug-god given miracle the ants moved out of the way. Now maybe it's because I'm tired or it's Sunday but dang look at this sexy slug?! That's a blessing. Paul calmly walked through adversity and a few thousand ants and won. I am proud of that guy (if he's a guy). 

I know this is a strange story but it's what I needed for the day. If Paul (the two inch, moist, plump, probably happy and well respected slug) can get through life, so can I. Sometimes life hits us with random things like emotional troubles, or friendship drama, or academic stress, or maybe even a big COLONY of ants. But there is always a path that can help us succeed and find happiness in our lives. Now it's not going to be easy, if it was then you ought to teach me how to do that. But it's okay because these hard experiences, teaches us, makes us stronger, and hopefully turns us to someone we like ourselves. Anyway I've kept my friend waiting for over an hour, I should go get my keys.

Let me end it with some wise words of Flik from Bug's Life, "walk around the leaf." 

Or through it and hope you're a badass like Paul.

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