The Longer Ones

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Ch 14 gone and moved on

Everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone has those days.

-Hannah Montana

Weird quote I know. But I stand by it! We're not perfect, none of us are. But while that statement is true, it's often a statement that's very difficult to accept. Especially for me.

And maybe it's not just me, but since I don't know their point of view, I'll only share mine. Yes, I've had my fair share of mistakes. There are a lot of things I regret in my life, but even though I do my best to seek penance or restitution, I still find myself feeling an awful lot of guilt. Often they forgave me, but still... that doubt and guilt and self-inflicted anger remains.

There are some mistakes where it's kinda natural to feel that way, like murder (cuz it's hard to reverse what happened), or extreme emotional distress, or something like that. But even on small things, I find myself laying on my bed, on a terrible terrible night, thinking and recounting all the mistakes most people probably forget about.

"You need to forgive yourself bro!" -lil bro

And he's right. Because it does eat at you for a while. But how exactly? It's easy to give advice, it's much harder to execute it and to be honest, I don't think there's a right answer. For some mistakes it could be easy while others take years of coping. And I don't want that to happen! That's a lot of baggage to carry! Some people might go direct and confront it, some might run away from whoever they hurt, others might just let it simmer until time erodes it away, and an unfortunate few won't even care.

Maybe I can't forgive myself today, sure. It's true, I probably overthink some things. Yeah I'm not perfect, but I got one hell of a story

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